i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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