Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
