You can't special order awesome
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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