Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
