dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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