She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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