so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I skipped work to stalk him.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
