my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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