none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
So vagazzling was a success
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
