You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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