so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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