I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
