i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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