I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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