worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
