meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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