Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
