i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
it was like eating out sand paper
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
