i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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