I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
