porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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