I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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