Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
