Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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