margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
