i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
