You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
