Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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