sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
