His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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