You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
