i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
