The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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