I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
