the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
