Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
