btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
