yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
