My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
