Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
