does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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