...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
