Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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