White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
