Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
