I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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