did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
