can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
