I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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