went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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