it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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