Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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